Love Machine Squeeze the Handle

    In the lobby of the Albuquerque County Line Barbecue, there is a special love machine for testing your love potential. This ” Love Machine ” costs a quarter for its diagnosis, and, for your quarter, you can see how you measure up on the love chart by putting your hand firmly around a special handle, squeezing firmly, and waiting for your diagnosis to shoot off like firecrackers, Roman candles, or duds. We humans like to measure. We hook up our cars to diagnostic apparatus, we use dip sticks to check oil and transmission fluids, we use IQ tests to measure intellectual ability, we use polls to decide who to elect to be our next President. Whether this ‘Love” test is really accurate, scientific, or needed, is something academics can argue over beers around the barby at University picnics. For those, in love, they don’t really need a machine to tell them how they feel. A better sign of whether you are in love, or not, is to look at your credit card statement. Be Happy – Stay Happy.